Thanksgiving just passed. We spent the eighth year in a row with our friends in an old farm house. We always come together for a weekend to spend time, share love and have a lot of intensely enjoyable meals. This year we visited a farm house in a very rural countryside. There was no heating and every room had an ancient oven and fire wood to use. It couldn’t have been more cosy and intimate.
With thanksgiving I always share thoughts of gratitude. I think back to what worked out this year and what didn’t. Who was by my side to support me and with whom I had a time full of struggles. How my loved ones felt this year and whether I managed to see all of them and to share their joys and fears?
And once again I notice how inseparable the two parts are. We are thankful for the good things and our heart glows at the thought of them. But we feel helpless, sad, and angry about the bad things. And I think we should spend the same amount of time to think of them as they are part of our life. We call that day thanksgiving for all that has been given to us by god, the universal energy or just destiny. But the bad things are given to us as well. Of course it doesn’t seem logic to be thankful for all the pain and hard times we have. But we can at least appreciate them as part of our life and evolving personality.
We experience nasty people, fights with loved ones, disappointments, desillusions, accidents or even death throughout our life. It makes it quite hard to breathe and even harder to fall asleep from time to time. But its the difficult times that let us grow. It is an important part of mindfulness to accept abs even welcome every thought abs feeling. This might work after some experience, but how do we handle really tough situations especially when we are alone and feel helpless ?
Since I was quite young, maybe around the age of fifteen, my mother taught me a small forgiveness meditation. I already introduced you into my every evening gratitude meditation. And I add this second part every now and then. I frequently talk to my mom on the phone and tell her about the moving things in my life like fights I had or when I felt unjustly treated . What she would say would mostly be: How about you forgive this person now? And I sit there full of fury and I tell her that I don’t WANT to forgive them as they don’t deserve this and that I am just so angry at the moment. So she would go on in her calm voice and tell me that forgiveness is nothing you do for some other person, but you do it for yourself. By forgiving you let go and free your soul. You take of that heavy burden that you feel when being angry at someone or even disliking them. I’ve since tried it many times and felt a lot better later.
A forgiveness meditation
- Lay flat on your back or in a comfortable cross-legged position
- Start by connecting to the universal energy, god or just yourself at that very moment. You may talk aloud or just in your head to welcome them. You can feel your back and every other body part touching the ground. And now try to focus on the rest of your body being up in the air to connect these two parts.
- Now think of the person you intend to forgive. Forgive him in your own chosen words and bless him i.e. I forgive Sarah for being such a selfish person and for hurting me so today. I forgive her for making me feel so unbelievably bad. I send her love, inner growth and satisfaction.
- End the meditation with 5-10 minutes of mindfulness. Try to stay awake and focused. Relaxation always comes, when the body is still and lifeless, while the mind is clear and keen.
Sometimes it is me that I have to forgive, which is especially important. We are disappointed with ourselves for our reactions, our weakness, our immaturity. It is thus immensely important to live and celebrate self love. You already do that by forgiving others, because you clean yourself of hate and bad energy. But who is clearly good and innocent without any wrath?! So tell yourself often enough that you will love and accept yourself no matter what happens. And let that inner self grow and evolve in warmth and honesty. We evolve our personality like an onion. We lose shell by shell in a row of desillusions, which can be painful or even unbearable. But forgiving will always be truly healing.